Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Red Flags: Red for a Reason

Yesterday, I went grocery shopping with Sasha at our usual store.  He is old enough now to be generally well-behaved and I can give him small tasks to "help" me out and occupy him for a while.  He loves to grab his favorite yogurts and toss them in the cart, pick out lemons and apples, and help scoop things in the bulk aisle.  Yesterday, it was popcorn, sugar, beans.  He was sorely tempted to taste the sugar from the bin and I told him NO twice, finally taking the scoop from him and shutting the bin.  His lucky day, however: another shopper asked him if he would help her, too, by scooping some sugar in her bag.  Incredibly kind of her to ask, given the quality of the help.  I chuckled to myself as she politely tried to stop the sugar from falling all over the floor while he vigorously shoveled.  Task accomplished, he stood there next to the open bin, looking longingly at the crystalline sweetness.  Trying to gauge how he could get away with sticking his face in it, I'm sure.  I hustled him out of the aisle and we continued through the rest of the store.

We stood in line together, chatting about ice cream and baby wipes-- items that we passed while waiting on line.  When we finally reached the front and we're next to unload our cart (RED FLAG), he said to me, "Mamu, I'm going to find that woman who let me help her and say goodbye."  An unusual request for him (RED FLAG), but I thought it was a nice thing to do so I said OK.  I began to unload the cart, keeping an eye out for Bub because he may not know which lane I am in; but he didn't return immediately (RED FLAG).  Then I saw the woman who he was looking for, but no Sasha (RED FLAG).  I finally got suspicious enough to start to go look for him-- midway through unloading my cart.  But at that moment he came running (RED FLAG) back.  I finished unloading and asked him to return the cart.  As I made my request, however, I noticed sugar stuck to his cheeks and his sweatshirt.  My jaw dropped and I heard this over the P.A. system:
"Will the [manager] please come to the bulk aisle."
Everything became clear.  I've been made a fool by my four-year-old and he's just been grossing out the nearby shoppers.  Or, as Nerdy put it, "We've become one of those people."  You know, the ones that let their angelic child run wild and unattended in a commercial establishment.  As mortification sunk in, I decided that there was nothing I could do.  Clearly, the problem was identified and being taken care of, and the time for me to do something helpful had passed.  I was furious.  But quite happy to leaving the store aboutthisfast.  Though Sasha got an earful on the way home, I figured a punishment to suit the crime would take some thought.

Later that day, I received the following email:
It was brought to our attention today (by several shoppers) that your child had been in the bulk aisle (without you) and helped himself/herself to the sugar in our bin.  First with bare hands, then licking the scoop and stuffing that back into the bin.  Unfortunately, that makes the sugar un-sellable to others....so we needed to remove the product.  Hopefully you'll understand, under the circumstances, that we need to ask you to pay for the 'damaged' product that became a loss to the Coop.  We removed it to a bag and placed it in the offices in case you would actually like to have the product once you pay for it.

One hundred and eighteen dollars later, we are the un-proud new owners of 70 pounds of sugar, only slightly spitty.

And Sasha lost the contents of his piggy bank.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Who Wants Some Yummy Pineapple Juice?

Pineapple juice for sale!  One dollar!  Would you like some?

--No thanks.

Pineapple juice for sale! One nickel!  Would you like some?

--No thanks.  It's not that it's too expensive.  I'm suspicious of your source.  I think it was already in your mouth and you spit it into that cup.

Free pineapple juice!  There's no spit in it.  I take a drink, then I put it here where the machine takes the spit out, and makes it organic, then I put it in the cup.  So it's totally organic.  It's fine.  Want some?