One of the worst tortures the pipsqueak endures is a shampoo.
To start what Carrie calls the The Seven Fights of Bedtime, the wind-down bedtime routine begins with a bath. Knowing this is the beginning of the end of the day, he usually runs away crying as soon as we announce the nightly bath. The protest lasts while we wrestle him out of his clothes and into the tub, where he stops crying the minute we get his feet wet and he sees the bath toys. But then soon enough, bath is over and it's time for the dreaded shampoo. In an attempt to make it faster and therefore less painful, Nerdy and I team up to hold him still and keep the soap and water out of his eyes. Resisting all attempts, he screams bloody murder the whole time, "NOOO, NOOO, MAMU, NO! MAMA, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" It's outrageously dramatic. Once I have him pinned between my knees and the washcloth over his eyes (or in the general vicinity), Nerdy washes his hair at lightning speed. Of course, he writhes and cries through the whole ordeal which makes it really hard to keep the soap out of his eyes and the water out of his nose. And no amount of reasoning with him will induce cooperation. Immediately after we finish washing his hair, Hulk Hogan/Mr. T team-style, he stops, turns calmly to us and says, "Oh. That wasn't so bad, was it?" and smiles a cherubic smile. Seriously. After every shampoo fight.
As you can guess, he didn't come up with that phrase on his own. I said it to him once after the shampoo match, and now that vaguely creepy sentence is repeated back at me after every hair wash.
Then we all move on to the Diaper Changing Table Take-down.
Oh my god, I can just imagine him saying that to you guys!!! So cute!! And fyi, the bedtime fights last well into the second year and seemingly into the third year of life. Good times.
ReplyDeleteThere is just no explaning children is there? They KNOW it's over soon but somehow can't process that all the way through their brains. You really ought to write a children's book cause you're hilarious! Love you all!
ReplyDeleteThankfully, we only was his hair twice a week. If this goes on for a year, that's 104 episodes! And it's all for the love of drama. No actual tears are produced during any of it.
ReplyDelete"All for the love of drama!" LOL and then "No actual tears are produced during any of it." LMAO! I think someone is having way too much FUN at bath time--working on his acting skills and working on Mama and Mamu! Ahem. ;-) Alo!!
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