Developmental psychologists who study children's behavior say that when babies become mobile, they've already developed an instinctive "safety zone" around their caregiver outside of which they won't travel. Somehow they know that 30 feet, for example, is far enough and after that point, the world becomes too dangerous. As they grow older, the safety zone grows larger. Many parents say (and I've often witnessed) that if their toddler doesn't respond to requests to "come back here," they will pretend to walk away or even just step out of sight and, instantly uncomfortable or afraid, the kid comes running back. Other parents, like me, invest in a leash.
OK, I didn't really invest in a leash but I've always wanted one. I just can't face the imaginary people who might say, "I can't believe you would treat your child like a dog." These same imaginary people take their children everywhere by strapping them into a stroller, but that's just the argument starting in my head. Anyway, Carrie finally gave me one (cleverly disguised as a backpack) on my last visit, but as toddlers usually do, Taylor wanted to wear it when she saw it and then it got lost in the shuffle somehow. Carrie, you may want to check under the couch.
One fine day when Sasha and I went to the park, I decided to experiment. I would let him run as far as he wanted and I wasn't going to stop him. The park is huge and there were no traffic or other dangers lurking as far as I could see. There had to be some point where he started to care where I was. The picture above is one I took during this experiment. What, you don't see him? Let me help. Click on the picture below to see the arrow. Yes that's a picture of his back and yes his legs are still carrying him farther away.
The result of my experiment? A parenting success! He doesn't give one whit where I am. I have raised a child with a strong, healthy sense of independence.
Ok, I'll confess--I'm one of those people who sometimes say something to a parent walking their dog, I mean, child. But it's usually like they're ignoring their kid. Just a burden, put a leash on them. I can sense the difference between a parent who just doesn't want to bother with their kid so put a leash on them and those who love them and put a leash on them.But when I saw HOW FAR the Bub had run from you I'm all for a leash--disguised as a backpack, you say? And I know you would still treat him as the wonderful boy he is--just a safer boy. There are too many people out there who could do harm--okay, so I'm pointing out the obvious, or the negative, or whatever, but the Bub really runs fast! Maybe an 18-foot leash?! Track & Field anyone?
ReplyDelete:-) Good luck!
That's just crazy! I can't believe he doesn't have that "safety zone" inherent in him. You're in for a wild ride I think. And as far as leashes go, YOU obviously need one as compared to the 99% of people whose kids DO have a safety zone. Oh my, wasn't your stomach in a knot wondering when he would stop? That little stinker, it's a good thing he has such a sweet personality.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I would have been crapping my pants!!! Did he turn around at all to see if you were still there?? Well, at least looks like a fairly safe environment to be running so far away!! Taylor hasn't looked at the monkey backpack since you left---let me know if you want me to send it to you. Since it was still here, I figured you didn't want it, didn't realize Taylor claimed dibs on it :) She won't miss it, I promise you.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I posted a video of Beckett walking....any illusions I had of a relaxing summer have been shattered :(
ReplyDeleteTrack and field, for sure! And soccer, too. And basketball. Any sport that requires lots of running.
ReplyDeleteCarrie, bring your miracle walking infant and we'll let them loose in the field.
Wow. I wonder if he'd do the same thing on the streets as he did in the park? Or maybe he felt this was a safer environment? Good luck keeping your eye on him. Sheesh!
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