As some of you are already aware, Sasha has decided that he doesn't need to sleep. He's been staying up late, late, even later than us. Why? Because he's not tired! Never mind the dark circles under his eyes, the stuttering and aphasia, the grinding of teeth to keep himself awake. Definitely not tired!
As the days turned into weeks, Nerdy and I reached our limits of tolerance. We've desperately sought out advice from books, from Google, from Facebook pleas for an answer. We've tried a number of them: cajoling, ignoring, threatening, playing good cop/bad cop, etc. One strategy in particular was widely recommended and considered ultimately fail-proof. Take the child back to his bed, no yelling, no talking, no interaction, just pick him up and put him back in bed every time he gets out. Apparently most kids will hate this enough that getting up time after time eventually loses its luster.
Unless you're the Bub. Then the kid will think it's a fun game of chase, with the added bonus that he gets tossed into bed like a bouncy house. (Oh, wait, that wasn't part of the strategy. Just me losing my patience.)
So we tried yet another tactic: the sticker chart. We didn't have much hope because he's never been big on stickers or charts. This sticker chart, however, is a detailed map to a large and coveted toy. There is a toy he desperately wants and asks for whenever he thinks of it. It's a spaceship with aliens and "alien's friends." We told him that if he can fill out this chart every day for 7 days, he would get little surprises every morning and on the seventh morning, a big surprise: the luxury spaceship.
The catch is he has to do everything on the chart without fighting or arguing. The first four items listed are really just a ruse to get to the last one. He absolutely must stay in bed when we tuck him in for the night. Even with a lamp on and the door open, he can only fight sleep for so long when confined to his bed. He's been asleep by 8:30 every night so far and we're on Day 4.
[Side story. Check out the hearts on the chart in the picture. As he put them on, he announced that he was putting on 2 hearts because he loves Mamu and Mama. The next morning, he place the third heart there because Mama and Mamu love him. Our little sweetheart.
Tonight, he was about to put a fourth heart on "because Grandma loves me." But then he noticed a new silly monster sticker in the bowl and changed his mind. "I'm going to put a silly monster on because Grandma loves silly monsters." And after moment's thought, "Because Grandma is silly."]
We are thrilled with the apparent success of this method, and even though we think bribing children with toys is not the best long-term strategy, we're willing in this case to buy whatever is necessary to get some sleep.
OMG! Mama and Mamu, you are saints. I know you probably don't feel like a saint,but you found a solution--temporary as it might be. You know, if after the sticker calendar thing he goes back to staying up forever, you might want to take him to a, what? a non-western health practitioner? Maybe something is askew in his energy. In all that you've read, is this a common thing for 3-4 year olds to go through? He must have ONE BUSY MIND!! Give me sleep or give me death--that's MY motto. Hang in there!!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely LOVE the chart. I'm assuming Sandy, you made the pajamas, toothbrush, bed, etc? You are so talented! You two moms have sure been tested with this NO bedtime thing. Good thing he's so dang cute and lovable! "Bribing" with a toy to me is no different than bribing people to work for you in exchange for a paycheck. So don't beat yourselves up over something that makes the world go around! Love to you all!
ReplyDeleteIf you can find one parent in the history of the universe who has not used bribery at one point, I will promise to strip down, run across Middleton, and howl at the moon. Which I will never (thankfully!!) have to do. Because every parent uses bribery. Every. One. And really, it's not bribery, it's a "motivation chart". :) And sleep deprivation is used as torture in some countries, WE ALL MUST SLEEP!! By the way, I'm pretty sure my new motto for motherhood is "...whatever is necessary...." :) Love you all!!
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