Papers Filed!

I have finally filed the paperwork for me to officially become one of Sasha's parents. The set of papers the court needs (or at least asks for) is outdated and occasionally bizarre. Because the law hasn't caught up with family realities, Nerdy is considered both the birth parent and the adoptive parent for the proceeding. The problem is that she has to submit papers as though she was giving up her child to some unknown person and as though she was about to become a mother for the first time through adoption, having not known Sasha before. This makes the requirements twice as offensive and often contradictory.

For example, as the birth mother, she had to sign an Adoption Information form giving (or refusing) Sasha permission to find out her identity once he turns 18. She also had to list Sasha as a child born out-of-wedlock with the Putative Father Registry; this means if some guy thinks he may have knocked up Nerdy, he can check the registry to find out if she had a kid and is secretly putting it up for adoption. Seriously. The clerk told me that we can also submit a letter from the cryogenic lab (aka sperm bank) stating we were clients. But that paper has no legal significance and we would still have to list Sasha as an out-of-wedlock birth for the public files.

So on the other hand, because she is also the adoptive parent, she, along with me, had to get fingerprinted at our local precinct and cleared with the state's Child Abuse Registration. We both need to submit medical certificates stating we're in good enough health to adopt a child. We also have to hire a social worker to visit our home and write a report approving our household for the court. And the social worker needs her own list of papers from us, not least of which are written recommendations from our friends!

As I write this, I'm getting ticked off all over again at how stupid and insulting this process is and again asking, why are we even doing this? But then I think about how I took Sasha to the doctor this week and, sitting in the waiting room, I'm hoping nothing too bad is wrong because I have no authority to make medical decisions on his behalf. Then I'm glad we're doing it because too much depends on a piece of paper to disregard it.

In, Out

There's a new game around here that's all the rage. The meditative value of placing things in and out of a container cannot be underestimated; it's toddler nirvana. As you may know from previous posts (or personal experience), Mister has for a while now enjoyed taking objects out of their place and scattering them around the apartment. But now he is graduating to the sequel, "in." He's elaborated on the standard Take All My Clothes Out of My Dresser Drawer game by adding Take All My Diapers Out of the Cabinet and Put Them Into the Now-Empty Dresser Drawer. The new and improved game, while interesting, didn't make things more fun for me.

In and out has spread to other activities, however, that have made things easier on his attendants. For example, Sasha pilfered the 2 of diamonds from a card deck and carried it to the hall closet. He proceeded to put the card in and out of the milk crate on the floor of the closet for 20 minutes. First the left side, then the right side, down deep and then just inside the rim, facing in or out, crumpled or straightened, etc. All this required extraordinary attention and focus, providing Mommy with some time to write an email or two. Even putting a wooden peg in and out of his toy bucket is good for at least 30 rounds of in and out. I was able to enjoy an entire cup of hot coffee at the Tea Lounge while Sasha put a quarter in and out of the cap to his bottle. Delightful for both of us.

One downside to the game is the collateral damage. I searched the house for the bottle of teething pills that I knew were around here somewhere. I finally gave up and used Tylenol. Weeks later, Nerdy tried to put a tape in the VCR and it wasn't going in. She fiddled with it a few minutes and lo and behold, a bottle of teething pills were hanging out inside. Or the time I was going insane trying to find a matching sock for Sasha. Days later, I saw a glimpse of it inside the plastic box where I keep sewing accessories-- in my closet, under a 20-pound heap of clothing. I still don't know how he managed to pry the lid open with one hand. Over the weekend, I found a small stash of Cheerios inside a bookshelf. I imagine this game will last for a while (this summer, Maya was still enjoying "hiding sings") and we will lose many things over the course of the coming months.

Brooklyn's Newest Tech Geek

To try and distract the Bub from banging on the keyboard while Wisco or I are doing important work on the internet, we got him a fabulous new toy. I asked the IT guy at work if he had any old parts that he could spare and he was happy to help by bringing in a very old and very dirty keyboard. Now Sasha can smash keys to his heart's content and we can still read the paper (or Facebook).

Poor Baby

Hello faithful readers. I am finally updating the blog now that the Bub is feeling better. He’s had a lingering cold for a couple of weeks, featuring lots of mucus, a cough, poor sleep, no appetite (!) and a fever which finally prompted us to take him to the doctor. She said he had inflamed eardrums, probably as a result of the chronic runny nose. She gave him 2 days to let the not-quite-infection resolve itself or turn into a full-blown infection. That was Tuesday. Fortunately, he woke up this morning full of energy and babbling happily. There’s nothing like a sick baby to keep one from engaging in normal life activities.

Stay tuned for more posting—there’s a backlog.

Adventures in Apple Picking

We decided to enjoy the fall foliage and invited Nana and Zayde to join us. Up we went to Fishkill Farms (not located in Fishkill but in Hopewell Junction) and a wonderful time was had by all. Here are some highlights.

It started out with fun in the car with Mama and Zayde (that was after Mommy had to go in the front seat to avoid getting sick which put Nana in the driver's seat).


One view of the orchard and the surrounding mountains



Sasha eats his first apple of the day - a Macoun!


Sharing with Nana (this is an activity that is fraught with fun such as pulling back right before you get to take a bite and then laughing in the other persons face)


Sasha meets his first milkweed pod and is understandably entranced
Riding around the orchard without being strapped in!


Crawling around the orchard - the more preferred mode of transport


Playing in the hay after a long day of picking (or crawling, eating, and being carried)


The finished product

What's up, Doc?

Even though Mister is a long way from talking, he still manages some deliberate noises. You could have knocked me over with a feather the first time he leaned over and sniffed the flowers while we were reading Pat the Bunny. I learned later that this was a trick learned from Nana. She taught him to stick his nose in the book and noisily inhale! I guess it takes a 3-time mother to have faith he could learn to sniff on cue.

The latest is "rabbit." We often read Neighborhood Animals, a picture book of common creatures. Because the words are beyond him, I just say the name of the animal and make its noise. Woof, meow, etc. For rabbit, however, I make the Bugs Bunny sound-- the sort of lip smacking sound that precedes What's up, doc? One day I turn the page to Rabbit and he starts making a smacking sound while sticking out his tongue, a little like he's eating an delicious, invisible ice cream cone. And now the noise has transformed into a silent licking motion, which is weird but hilarious.

I was telling Nana about this at the playground while we were pushing him on the swing. I wouldn't have thought he was even paying attention, much less participating in the conversation, but at the word "rabbit," he starts flapping his tongue like he knows what's up. Awesome.

Sasha learns to drive

With this kind of enthusiasm behind the wheel, I think he'll get his license before me!

more bathtime fun

The latest craze in bathtub games is standing up, yanking off the multi-colored fish that is covering the faucet (purchased by moms who want to protect their kid's precious head), throwing it into the water and then using it as a bath toy.

Don't Mess with the Purple Hoodies