That Appears to Be True

The Bub and I were having a picnic in the soggy grass at the park when he jumped up, announced, "I'll be right back," and ran far away to investigate something important: cement, workmen, a lamppost, I'm not really sure. He came back eventually, slipping a bit in a mud slick along the way.  He stuffed a couple of grapes in his mouth and told me "I'm going back to the mud puddle where I belong," and spent a good ten minutes getting disgusting. 

Ethical Parenting in the Era of Television

I’m not proud to say I let my son watch too much TV.   To assuage my pangs of guilt for lazy parenting, I turned to Google to soothe myself.  Surely I’m not the only one.  The internet did not disappoint. Who would guess that the average American child aged 2 to 5 watches 32 hours of television a week?  Seriously. When do those average children eat?  In front of the TV set presumably.  Anyway, it made me feel a little better.  Plus the reassuring fact that so far, Sasha doesn’t seem to be lacking developmentally.

I was having a laundry room chat with a neighbor, a mother of 2 young boys.  I complained that the child care room at the Y has a TV blaring at all times of day, with the children watching in a gape-mouthed stupor.  She agreed this was terrible, and said, “As a parent, I’ll be the one to say when you can watch TV: when I need to get something done!”

But lest I judge the harried parent, sometimes all that TV time is worth it just to hear the things that come out of his mouth.  After watching Toy Story 15-plus times, the Bub has memorized quite a bit of dialogue.  I was changing his diaper the other day, when he looks around the room and says to me, “There seems to be no sign of intelligent life.” 

A short time later (after I finally stopped laughing), he looked out the window and announced, “I see a sign of intelligent life!”  Surprised, I walked over to the window where he pointed out the stop sign outside of our building.

He also makes the toy pig yell at me, “Give me all your money!”  This is immediately followed by a round of kisses for everyone.  I didn’t get it until I saw the scene: the bank robber pig demands all your money and then greedily kisses all the coins that cascade around him.  Money lover or just plain lover, it’s all the same to Sasha.

And to make TV matters worse, Toy Story is a Disney/Pixar movie.  This means we’ve bought hook, line, and sinker into licensed merchandise.  How can I deny him the unending pleasures that come with sippy cups and underwear featuring Buzz Lightyear and Woody cowboy?  I’m a sucker! 

Plus, I figure the central conceit of Toy Story—that toys come to life when you’re not around—is enhanced by having toys that exactly resemble the ones in the movie.  Toys have a life of their own and love to be played with and tossed about and want to go everywhere you go? What a great concept for a little kid just beginning to make sense of the world around him.

Soccer!

Today was the Bub's first day of soccer class.  I'm not sure who was more excited, me or him, but it doesn't really matter.  The class is a "parent and child" one, so it will be a Saturday morning bonding experience for Mama and Bub.  I will get some much-needed time off, but I had to attend today to check it out (and to get pictures!) and because I knew it would be cute and funny to see a outdoor class full of 2-year-olds.  How does a coach herd cats? The answer, I discovered, is they don't. For the duration of class, tots would take off across the field then get chased down and brought back by a parent. One kid lay down on top of the net. Another collected the hoops that were intended to mark a running track.  One carried her "home base" rubber mat with her everywhere she went.  I am proud to say that Sasha was very well-behaved, listening to the coach and excited to participate.  He still doesn't understand the waiting in line thing, but whatever-- I hate it, too, and I've had a few decades to get used to it.

Bonus: the t-shirts provided are purple! With a logo in distressed yellow to satisfy the most discerning fashionista.

The weather was cooperative, too.  One of the only nice days we've had so far this year. Get here soon, summer.

Not Quite

-- Sasha, what's your full name?

-- Alexander Sky Rosen.
-- And you're Mamu Sky Rosen and you're Mama Sky Rosen.

Washing Machine

For his second birthday, the Bub received a multi-function kitchen.  Graciously, Nana and Zayde purchased a small one in consideration of the size of our apartment.  But it packs a wallop: 2 burners, a sink, an oven, a microwave and a washing machine.  Needless to say, it is a favored toy and he plays with almost daily.  Of course, he spent only a week or two cooking with it.  Since then, it's been all about the washing machine.

Let me just muse for a minute on toddler expropriation.  Shoes as storage closets, trampoline as playhouse, calculator/pencil case/teether as cell phone, potty as cave, drying rack as panda house, the list goes on.  Recently Aunt Carrie-- oops, I mean Taylor-- sent a gift of an extra-large dinosaur pop-up book.  But to Sasha, the book is a book of tunnels.  All his pretend people burrow their way through the book, into and underneath the 3D dinosaurs, occasionally ripping pieces but in no way diminishing his enjoyment.  Human imagination is so much more relevant than manufacturers' intent.  And who knew a washing machine did more than wash clothes?

When Nana and Zayde visited us upon returning from Hong Kong, Sasha wanted to cook them a meal.  The menu was ambitious, consisting of fruits and vegetables, bread and beans and pasta and other assorted delicacies.  He brought out each item of food, offered it, then announced, "Oh. It's dirty.  I have to put it in the washing machine."  I believe he went through his entire cupboard of foodstuffs (thanks, Aunts Alice, Margot and Wendy!), but alas, every piece was dirty and in need of washing.  Their plates remained empty while washing machine got all of the promised meal.

Then there's the Washing Machine Exit.  If he's had enough of playing with one set of toys and he's ready to move on to something else, he'll transition via W.M.E.  For example, Woody and Buzz will be having a great time flying around and having adventures when he'll suddenly suggest that they fly into the washing machine.  He removes the sink and stuffs them into the hole that leads directly into the washing machine and voila! out of sight, out of mind.  Sasha is free to pick up different toy.

Other times, however, there is no fade, only repetition of the cycle.  Put toys in, open door, and let them all cascade out onto the floor, and repeat.  Every toy gets put into rotation and sometimes the entire toy box gets shoved in at once.  Sometimes they're pursued by a T-Rex who follows them into the hole, then the door opens and the chase begins anew.  I cannot understand why it doesn't get boring.

The kitchen usually sits in a corner, and one time I turned it the other way around to see if he would cook instead of "wash."  He flipped out and demanded I turn it back RIGHT NOW.

Everyone's First Hike Should Be On Staten Island

When we woke up today, Nerdy suggested we go for a hike.  We decided to try a hike on Staten Island at a preserve formerly occupied by clay pit mines.  In my life before parenthood, I would have scoffed at this as a true hike.  A one mile loop on easy terrain? But what a perfect and exhilarating hike for a two-year-old!  

We had to hold him back.  Literally.  We got out of the car and while Nerdy checked for a bathroom, Sasha was off and running into the woods, off the path, on the wrong side of a fence along a very steep gully.  After rescuing him from near disaster, we tried to show him the path and “that’s what you walk on” but he didn’t quite get it.  He just wanted to wander wherever whim took him-- into brambles, into muddy rivers, whatever.  Then we struck gold with trail markers.  When we explained that you look for the yellow stickers on the trees and follow those, he immediately understood that the point of a nature walk is to run from one sticker to the next.  He was so proud to be the leader, finding each one and telling us where to go. 

A wonderful time was had by all.

Pointing out the yellow sticker.

A Day at The Beach and The Weather is Giving Me Whiplash

WTF, it's snowing?!  I know my peeps in Wisconsin had snow a week ago or so, but OK, it's Wisconsin, I expect that.  We live in New York!  It's supposed to be warmer here.  Snow a week before April is an outrage.  Just last week, in fact, we were hanging out at the beach.  Unseasonably warm, perhaps, but still...  We went with Nana and Zayde to Orchard Beach and found rows of freshly dumped (and clean!) sand to play in.  And it was lovely to be barefoot for a little while.

 

And today I had to brush snow from the car's windshield.  In the last 6 hours, in fact, we have experienced snow, rain, sleet, and hail.

Potty Training, Step -1

He's not having an asthma attack, that's beat-boxing.

One Cell Phone is for Wimps

Successful people have need a smartphone in each hand.  

Rainy Day Ribbit